ALIENS TO INVADE EARTH IN 2026

Following the discovery of Bubona and Enutpen Rigellians Kang and Kodos were ordered to attack  Earth in fear that their own planet would be invaded. In order to get to Earth they had to travel 4 million  miles at 400 miles per hour. Our top mathematicians have predicted that it would take them exactly  seven hundred and thirty days or two years exactly.  They left on November twelfth this year and are predicted to arrive on Friday, November thirteenth  2026. 

Fred Knackers, A Radish reporter interviewed 

Kang on his way to Earth. “We mean no harm, we just want to clear Earth of  its inhabitants so that we can claim it for our masters.” said Kang when asked about his intentions. In response to the question “How do you plan to rid Earth of its life forms?” Kang stated that he “Would zap Earth with a blaster that would shoot a large cloud of fart smelling gas strong enough to kill all of Earth’s residents.”. He then removed the blaster that, after close examination, was identified as a fart blaster from the movie Despicable Me: 2.  After much study and consideration the Radish’s top scientists decided that the invading Rigellians were merely a small threat to our planet’s collected armies and there was no need to worry about their arrival. It is evident that one or more of Universal’s employees helped the aliens get the weapon and Universal is very sorry for the panic they caused and are working to bring the contributors to justice. The punishment for this crime is a lifetime in State Prison, home of the Minions and when Universal finds the people that's where they'll go.